So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
