we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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