u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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