we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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