Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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