GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
