friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
