UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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