Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
