so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
