That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
