What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
