His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
