TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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