How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I skipped work to stalk him.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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