Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
