I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
