Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high people should be assigned attendants
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize