ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist