I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i think my cat just said my name.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
