So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.