If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize