Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
