Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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