She's JV to your varsity
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Two words: blizzard sex
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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