Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Panties = found
Randomize
