Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I believe in your delicious
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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