idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
