We're like a lot better than the average bears
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
