Having a random hookup so left but love u
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
