I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
