That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
