he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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