Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize