we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
