I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
