What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
