More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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