Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
