Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
