So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
