i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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