everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
