I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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