dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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