Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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