dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
