i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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