I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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