I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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