she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
