Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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