i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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