sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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