Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
