Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
