Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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