I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
