he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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