party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
