I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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