I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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