I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
