btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
