i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
